Author Archives: The Bump Life

Are You Due Soon?

Posted on May 25, 2011 by The Bump Life
Pregnant in Asheville

Happy and in heels in Asheville, NC

Last weekend, my husband and I traveled to Asheville, NC to attend the wedding of two special friends. The garden ceremony was moving and intimate, the bride was stunning, the guests were a blast and the meal included some of my favorite things: ripe strawberries, chocolate cupcakes and mini-burgers — yum.

It was an escape from real life in more ways than one. In real life, cashiers say to me, “Are you due soon?” Soon? No, I’m only half as big as I’m going to get. But thank you for noticing. And last night, my husband marveled proudly, “I can’t believe how big your belly is!” When I said, “But everyone at work is telling me it’s not that big,” he responded matter-of-factly, “No. They’re lying to you. You’re only five months along and your belly is huge!”

I am not making these things up.

Last weekend I discovered all a pregnant gal has to do is shimmy into a dress and squeeze her swollen feet into something other than flip flops, and guess what? People are so nice! Every time I turned around someone was squealing over my belly, exclaiming over the fact that I was in heels or saying, “You look so great!!!”

It was fabulous.

When all the guests — including several elderly folks — left the garden ceremony via a winding stone staircase, I was the one clinging to the railing, holding up all the traffic behind me and arriving at the top panting and sweating. I stopped to catch my breath and the woman behind me didn’t say, “Good god, could you have taken any longer!?” Nor did she express her sympathy to my husband or ask me if I needed an ambulance. Amazingly enough, she said, “When I’m pregnant, I want to look just like you.”

Hallelujah! I think I actually said, “God bless you” (while mopping the sweat from my face like an overweight Southern preacher).

The star treatment continued all night long. When Vanilla Ice finally moved me to call out, “Make way for big lovin’!” and hit the dance floor, I felt like the belle of the ball. When we made it back to our room at the ungodly hour of 11:30 pm, my feet were so bruised and swollen I could hardly walk, and I fell asleep on the hotel bed as soon as I freed myself from my dress. But if my body could have taken it, I would have been shaking my booty and strutting around in heels until next Tuesday.

I’m already plotting my next opportunity to wear a dress and hang out by a staircase, just to get some more of that “baby just took her first steps” attention (“Yaaaay!! Look at yooooouuuu!!!“). In the meantime, tell your friends: if they’re looking for a pregnant chick who can shake it to “Bust a Move” for a solid 2-3 minutes, give me a call.

Pregnant in Heels

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Dear Sweet … Boy or Girl?

Posted on May 20, 2011 by The Bump Life
Baby boy or baby girl?

See if you can spot my husband's influence ...

Dear Sweet Baby,

There you are! Fluttering around inside me like a little butterfly. Suddenly, you’re ever-present, moving and kicking all day long. It’s amazing to experience you like this, to feel you get restless when I’m hungry or push hard against the wall of my belly like you just can’t wait to come out and greet the world.

You’re officially now a boy or a girl, and I wonder which nearly all the time. It’s so hard to be patient, to withstand the temptation to just allow ourselves to be told, but I am so eager for that moment when your dad and I lay eyes on you for the very first time. Waiting to find out feels like the right thing to do, and it becomes more exciting every day.

If you are a little boy, I hope I can raise you to be kind and love with great abandon. I hope you grow up with a sense of curiosity about the world and the courage to explore all the beauty it holds. I hope your imagination takes you to places far and wide, and that, sometimes, you’ll let me come with you. I hope to teach you to listen with an open heart and look out for those less fortunate than you; to be compassionate to animals and free with your emotions; to respect women and treat people fairly no matter who they are. No matter what, I know you’ll have a strong and independent spirit that will be all your own.

And if you are a little girl — a daughter — I hope to share the unique wonder of being a woman and all that comes with it. I hope I can teach you to stand strong and confident in the midst of everything that will cause you self-doubt. I hope you’ll throw yourself into the world with a passion for learning and a twinkle of mischief in your eye, free to laugh without inhibition and hold your head high. I want to talk to you and braid your hair; I want to watch you run faster than all the boys in the neighborhood and grow up with the wind always in your hair. I want to tell you my secrets and listen to yours as I tuck you in for a long and dream-filled sleep.

Either way, I know your father and I will love you from the instant you come roaring into the world with the spark and vitality I feel in you every day. We’ll always remember the day you join our family and the quiet moment when we choose a name for you. We’ll watch in amazement as you grow bigger and stronger and more fully yourself with each passing day — happy and boundless and secure in our love.

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Better Than Ice Cream

Posted on May 11, 2011 by The Bump Life

Now all I need is for Orlando Bloom to be on the other end of this ...

It was a gray, cloudy morning here and — after being awoken several times last night by storms — I’m feeling a bit gray myself. Every now and then the pregnancy exhaustion; the hour-long commute home from my job; the daily mess brought in by our two big dogs; the stress my husband is dealing with while trying to embark on a challenging new career: it gets to be a bit much. On days like today, I could really use an ice cream cone from Orlando Bloom.

If you haven’t seen Elizabethtown, you probably have no idea what I’m talking about. It’s one of Cameron Crowe’s finest films, and considering he’s responsible for such gems as Almost Famous, Jerry Maguire and Vanilla Sky, that’s saying a lot. Plus, the soundtrack — arranged by Crowe’s wife and former Heart singer Nancy Wilson — is near perfection.

There’s a great scene where Orlando Bloom’s Drew says to Kirsten Dunst’s hippie go-lightly character, “you’re kind of great, Claire.” To which Claire replies, rather ungraciously, “I don’t need an ice cream cone.” She goes on to explain, saying, “You know, ‘Here’s a little something to make you happy. Something sweet that melts in five minutes’ … I don’t need it.”

The point is that she does need it. Claire plays it cool to a practically psychotic degree in order to get Drew to let his guard down and view her with the same gooey adoration she feels for him. In reality, she’s thrilled at any compliment, phone call or glimmer of interest from him.

Aren’t we all just a little bit like this? We act casual in our jobs and lives as best we can, faking cool confidence when inside we’re turning to mush. So what’s wrong with wanting a little ice cream cone now and then, or even needing one?

Frankly, there are days when I’d give anything for one of Claire’s ice cream cones.

On days like today, I try to give whatever it is I need to others. I throw out compliments so liberally I wonder if they seem disingenuous. But at the end of the day, I think people appreciate a little something sweet, regardless of how many empty calories are inside. I know I do.

So here’s an ice cream cone for you, my friend: Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading this and sharing in my world. Thank you for who you are and for all you’ve brought into my life.

Wouldn’t you know it; outside the clouds have gone and the sun has come out. It’s not ice cream, but it’ll do.

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The Bust Life

Posted on May 5, 2011 by The Bump Life

At 33 years old (can that really be right?), it’s become nearly impossible to remain blissfully ignorant of all the gory and incredible things a woman experiences during pregnancy. Still, I’ve been pretty successful at getting this far without knowing too much about it. The result is that each new development has been surprising and somewhat bewildering.  

Such as, people tell you your boobs will get big. No one tells you they’ll be massive. And heavy. And wildly sore, all the time. I’ve now graduated into the scary bra category which — for a gal who’s long been kidding herself by wearing a too-big B-cup — is pretty bizarre. My new bras don’t come in fun colors or feature little bows at the center. Rather, today’s number features three rows of three clasps at the back and a nice wide band to help minimize back fat. Which it doesn’t.

I always felt it would be kind of cool to be more voluptuous, but now that my body is expanding in every direction, I’m not so sure. Sometimes I find that some brownie crumbs have saved themselves for later by lodging in my cleavage — that’s about the only benefit. Worst of all, I keep hearing the same thing over and over: “And they’ll only keep getting bigger!”

The unexpected result is that, like Jon Krasinski’s character in “Away We Go” (a must-see, by the way), I’ve started to stare inappropriately every time I see a pregnant woman. Right at her boobs.

Hmmm … hers are pretty big. Wonder what they were like before …?

It’s not good. Hopefully I’ll grow out this phase soon. In the meantime, if you catch me staring at your boobs, please forgive me.

Not sure which is bigger: bump or bust!

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I Have a Secret …

Posted on April 28, 2011 by The Bump Life

Please don’t let this get out. Hoards of pregnant women will come after me bearing sharpened sticks and — seeing as how I was out of shape before pregnancy — it wouldn’t be much of a chase.

I kind of like being pregnant.

Don’t get me wrong: it hasn’t been easy or fun even most of the time. At 18 weeks along, I’m finally starting to get a little bit of energy back (not that I had a lot to begin with), and I’m just now able to eat a vegetable here and there instead of subsisting solely on butter, sugar and pasta. And most days, I feel big as a house and a lot less attractive.

And yet. Being pregnant makes me feel special, like there’s something extraordinary going on with me that no one else understands. I know I’m not breaking any new ground here: women have been having babies since the beginning of time. This is probably the most ordinary thing I could do. But no one has ever grown this special little baby during this moment in time, and no one knows exactly what it feels like day in and day out. I feel a kinship with all women I never felt before, and a closeness with my husband when we look at each other in amazement and say over and over, “we’re having a baby.” Just trying to make it feel real.

So there it is: Something positive and wonderful amongst all the challenges of pregnancy. To all of you who hated being pregnant, who endured the nausea and exhaustion and couldn’t wait for it to be over: believe me, I understand. I hope you don’t want to chase after me with a stick, because I guarantee you can take me. Unless of course, you get between me and a triple chocolate brownie. In that case, watch your back.

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Welcome

Posted on April 23, 2011 by The Bump Life

Welcome to my blog, the first entry of which is long overdue. There are so many things I’ve wanted to do during my first pregnancy and this blog is one of them. In the midst of working, having a long daily commute and being floored by a bout of bronchitis, I haven’t gotten much done. Designing a mostly handmade nursery and writing to my baby are other things that I’ve wanted to do but completely neglected so far. So, I thought I’d accomplish two things at once and make my first blog post an overdue note to my little unborn.

Thanks for visiting and I hope you’ll follow my blog as I navigate the miracles of life, both vast and small.

13 Week Ultrasound

Ultrasound at 13 weeks

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Dear Sweet Baby ~

Today marks 17 weeks you’ve been growing inside me. I still can hardly believe it, despite the large, healthy swell of my tummy. Until today, you’ve seemed so fragile and vulnerable, but I’m finally starting to feel your palpability and strength. Despite the astonishing images of you resting inside me, I used to worry you were somehow not real or that you’d disappear into thin air. I’ve still yet to feel you move, but I know you’re in there, enjoying this peaceful time to grow into the beautiful person I know you will be.

It’s amazing to have a human life developing inside of me — there’s just no other way to put it. It’s the most simple and yet complex miracle there is. It’s not easy by any stretch — not physically, mentally, emotionally or financially — but miracles probably shouldn’t be.

You weren’t part of any plan, nor did you arrive at some premeditated moment in my life, but I can’t imagine a more perfect way for you to come into it. Not being the most structured person, I probably wouldn’t have ever gotten around to feeling “ready” for you. I can’t think of many things in my life I felt ready for when they happened. But seeing now that every step along the way brought me closer to you — perfect, unique, extraordinary you — makes it all seem divinely right.

I’m sorry if I haven’t always been strong, and I know I haven’t been brave all the time either. It’s just that you seem so very precious. I don’t always know how I’m going to protect you, keep you safe and happy, instill in you a bold and free spirit. How can I teach you all the things I’ve yet to learn myself? I suppose we’ll have to learn some things together. We’ll have to remember that we were once connected in the most sacred and finite way, and we’ll have to lean on each other as only family can. I promise to always be there for you, even if I don’t always know what to say or do.

Today is a stunning, sparkling day. I’m sitting outside so we can feel the sun and wind together, and be thankful for a few peaceful moments in this otherwise chaotic life. I hear an ice cream truck in the distance, and the sounds of children’s voices as they laugh and play. It’s incredible to think you’ll be like that one day, vibrant and joyful and complicated and free. If I close my eyes, I can see you climbing a tree and running with the sun shining in your hair.

It will be an honor to meet you.

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