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Are You Due Soon?

Pregnant in Asheville

Happy and in heels in Asheville, NC

Last weekend, my husband and I traveled to Asheville, NC to attend the wedding of two special friends. The garden ceremony was moving and intimate, the bride was stunning, the guests were a blast and the meal included some of my favorite things: ripe strawberries, chocolate cupcakes and mini-burgers — yum.

It was an escape from real life in more ways than one. In real life, cashiers say to me, “Are you due soon?” Soon? No, I’m only half as big as I’m going to get. But thank you for noticing. And last night, my husband marveled proudly, “I can’t believe how big your belly is!” When I said, “But everyone at work is telling me it’s not that big,” he responded matter-of-factly, “No. They’re lying to you. You’re only five months along and your belly is huge!”

I am not making these things up.

Last weekend I discovered all a pregnant gal has to do is shimmy into a dress and squeeze her swollen feet into something other than flip flops, and guess what? People are so nice! Every time I turned around someone was squealing over my belly, exclaiming over the fact that I was in heels or saying, “You look so great!!!”

It was fabulous.

When all the guests — including several elderly folks — left the garden ceremony via a winding stone staircase, I was the one clinging to the railing, holding up all the traffic behind me and arriving at the top panting and sweating. I stopped to catch my breath and the woman behind me didn’t say, “Good god, could you have taken any longer!?” Nor did she express her sympathy to my husband or ask me if I needed an ambulance. Amazingly enough, she said, “When I’m pregnant, I want to look just like you.”

Hallelujah! I think I actually said, “God bless you” (while mopping the sweat from my face like an overweight Southern preacher).

The star treatment continued all night long. When Vanilla Ice finally moved me to call out, “Make way for big lovin’!” and hit the dance floor, I felt like the belle of the ball. When we made it back to our room at the ungodly hour of 11:30 pm, my feet were so bruised and swollen I could hardly walk, and I fell asleep on the hotel bed as soon as I freed myself from my dress. But if my body could have taken it, I would have been shaking my booty and strutting around in heels until next Tuesday.

I’m already plotting my next opportunity to wear a dress and hang out by a staircase, just to get some more of that “baby just took her first steps” attention (“Yaaaay!! Look at yooooouuuu!!!“). In the meantime, tell your friends: if they’re looking for a pregnant chick who can shake it to “Bust a Move” for a solid 2-3 minutes, give me a call.

Pregnant in Heels

Welcome

Welcome to my blog, the first entry of which is long overdue. There are so many things I’ve wanted to do during my first pregnancy and this blog is one of them. In the midst of working, having a long daily commute and being floored by a bout of bronchitis, I haven’t gotten much done. Designing a mostly handmade nursery and writing to my baby are other things that I’ve wanted to do but completely neglected so far. So, I thought I’d accomplish two things at once and make my first blog post an overdue note to my little unborn.

Thanks for visiting and I hope you’ll follow my blog as I navigate the miracles of life, both vast and small.

13 Week Ultrasound

Ultrasound at 13 weeks

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Dear Sweet Baby ~

Today marks 17 weeks you’ve been growing inside me. I still can hardly believe it, despite the large, healthy swell of my tummy. Until today, you’ve seemed so fragile and vulnerable, but I’m finally starting to feel your palpability and strength. Despite the astonishing images of you resting inside me, I used to worry you were somehow not real or that you’d disappear into thin air. I’ve still yet to feel you move, but I know you’re in there, enjoying this peaceful time to grow into the beautiful person I know you will be.

It’s amazing to have a human life developing inside of me — there’s just no other way to put it. It’s the most simple and yet complex miracle there is. It’s not easy by any stretch — not physically, mentally, emotionally or financially — but miracles probably shouldn’t be.

You weren’t part of any plan, nor did you arrive at some premeditated moment in my life, but I can’t imagine a more perfect way for you to come into it. Not being the most structured person, I probably wouldn’t have ever gotten around to feeling “ready” for you. I can’t think of many things in my life I felt ready for when they happened. But seeing now that every step along the way brought me closer to you — perfect, unique, extraordinary you — makes it all seem divinely right.

I’m sorry if I haven’t always been strong, and I know I haven’t been brave all the time either. It’s just that you seem so very precious. I don’t always know how I’m going to protect you, keep you safe and happy, instill in you a bold and free spirit. How can I teach you all the things I’ve yet to learn myself? I suppose we’ll have to learn some things together. We’ll have to remember that we were once connected in the most sacred and finite way, and we’ll have to lean on each other as only family can. I promise to always be there for you, even if I don’t always know what to say or do.

Today is a stunning, sparkling day. I’m sitting outside so we can feel the sun and wind together, and be thankful for a few peaceful moments in this otherwise chaotic life. I hear an ice cream truck in the distance, and the sounds of children’s voices as they laugh and play. It’s incredible to think you’ll be like that one day, vibrant and joyful and complicated and free. If I close my eyes, I can see you climbing a tree and running with the sun shining in your hair.

It will be an honor to meet you.

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